From products actually issued by the National Weather Service:


> WIND SHITG GRDLY
>
>THUNDERSTORMS WERE ALREADY PRODUCING LIGHTNING OVER SOUTH CENTRAL...
>^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
>LTGIG (from the old SA format, literally "Lightning In-Ground)
>
>ANOTHER QUIET MORNING IN THE MET WASTELAND.
>
>NEW FORECASTING TECHNIQUE FOR SEVERE WEATHER IN THIS VIEWING AREA.
>ALL YA GOTTA DO IS CHECK WHEN I AM ON MY FIRST MIDNIGHT PUBLIC
>SHIFT...ZAAALLLOOOOMMMM!...SEVERE WEATHER!  ITS HIGHLY ACCURATE
>AND A NO BRAINER.
>
>AFTERNOON HEAT INDEX VALUES FROM 105 TO 1125 DEGREES EXPECTED...
>
>ROC REPORTING -RAPE AT 00Z...IS THAT A FELONY?
>
>COMPLEX WX PTRN HAS DELIVERED KNOCK OUT BLOW TO NUMERICAL MODELS.
>12Z PACKAGE NOT EVEN WORTHY OF FISH WRAP.
>
>WILL PUT MY VALUABLE TIME INTO ZNS AND NOT THIS PRODUCT. (Product was SFD)
>
>A BEAUTIFUL WEATHER WEEK IS ON TAP
>ITS CERTAINLY NOT TIME TO TAKE A NAP
>NUMBERS HIGH, NUMBERS LOW
>OH WHICH WAY DO I WANT TO GO.
>LACK OF MOISTURE, LACK OF LIFT
>WITH HIGH PRESSURE HOLDING FIRM OH WHAT A GIFT.
>AZURE SUNSHINE WITH WISPS OF CIRRUS UPON A MALL
>PAINTING AN INSPIRING PICTURE FOR ONE AND ALL.
>TEMPERATURES ON THE UPSWING SLOWLY AT FIRST
>CANT ACCELERATE THE MERCURY O'ER IT'LL BURST
>IN THE SHORT TERM DRY AND FAIR
>TO GIVE US A BREAK FROM WINTER'S HARSH REALITIES.
>BY WEEK'S END THE WEARIN' OF THE GREEN
>THEN WE CAN LOOK FORWARD TO THE CHIRPS OF SPRING
>
>THANK YAH THANK YAH VERY MUCH FOR THE INPUTS...
>
>THE    (That was the whole product -- just the word THE)
>
>CB NW MOVG NE VIRGO SW-N
>
>SUNNY SKY AND LIGHT WIND MAKES FOR A GOOD AFTERNOON TO RAKE LEAVES OR
>WHATEVER.
>
>THE OBSERVER HAS LOCKED HIMSELF OUT OF THE OFFICE AND CANNOT LOCATE A KEY.
>OBSERVATIONS WILL BE RESUMED AS SOON AS THE OFFICE IS OPENED.
>
>DISC: IT'S 930 PM...DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR CAR IS?
>
>WINTER IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR...NOT.
>
>WELL...FCST A FLD YESTERDAY AND IT WAS DRY...FCST NO SNOW LST NIGHT AND IT
>SNOWED...SO IF YOU IGNORE THIS DISCUSSION AND TRASH IT I'LL
>UNDERSTAND.
>
>MRF 5H PATTERN MIDDLE OF NEXT WEEK LOOKS MORE LOP-SIDED THAN PRECESSING
>GOES MACHINE.  BEARS WATCH.
>
>SKYWARN OBSERVER IN THE TOWN OF RIPLEY MEASURED HAIL DENSITY AT 86 PIECES
>PER SQUARE FOOT.
>
>LOOK FOR GRADL SHIT TO N OR NE WINDS IN REST OF NERN ZNS THIS MORNING...
>
>ONE HUMONGOUS UGLY TSTM WITH CONTUS LTG 7MI E MOVG S.  CAN SEE THE HAIL IN
>IT FROM HERE.
>
>AMOUNT OF COOLING BEHIND THE EXPECTED FRONT..AS ALWAYS..BEARS WATCH FOR
>THE UNEXPECTED.
>
>AMERICA IS A GREAT COUNTRY.  BUT ANY CLAIMS TO ALTERING THE MOTIONS OF
>CELESTIAL BODIES IS A BIT TOO MUCH.  EVEN ATMOSPHERIC PHENOMENA IS BEYOND
>OUR CONTROL...WHICH IS WHY THE WEATHER SERVICE WILL CONTINUE TO BUST
>FORECASTS FROM TIME TO TIME.
>
>USING LATEST FCST TECHNIQUES WE CALCULATE THE BACK EDGE OF THE CLDS IS
>MOVG SE AT EXACTLY ONE ERASER-HEAD PER 5 1/2 HRS.
>
>RAIN NEEDS TO STOP AND SKY PERHAPS CLEAR.  PATTERN ON 5YH ALSO BEARS WATCH
>FOR LATER POTENTIAL DISASTER.
>
>DIRECT HITS OF LIGHTNING ARE AN OBVIOUS DANGER.  TREES SOMETIMES EXPLODE
>VIOLENTLY WHEN STRUCK...FILLING THE AIR WITH LARGE CHUNKS OF WOOD MOVING
>AT HIGH SPEED.  HOUSES AND CHURCHES OFTEN EXPLODE INTO FLAME WHEN STRUCK.
>LARGE ROCKS ARE SOMETIMES THROWN OUT OF THE GROUND.  FIREBALLS OFTEN
>EXPLODE.
>